badger cannon

Nancy- So you don't believe that being gay is simply and solely based on... genetics?..

Me- It could be genetics. Or, perhaps our bodies are just shells. Who we really are, our true and basic identity, is what is on the inside. Our interests would be the same despite what "shell" we are born with.

Women are known as more "girly"- makeup, sexy clothing, etc.
Men, well you know. The stereotypes.

But if we are born with a feminine body; we grow up learning how to flatter the shells we have. Curvy body, sexy clothing. Masculine body, etc.


Anyway, I think it's part "genetics" but also, you are a product of your surroundings. Physically who we are and emotionally and mentally who we are, are two completely separate things, that learn to work together when we are born.

Nancy- But, one of the huge gay arguments is that, just how you're genetically programmed to have brown hair, brown eyes, etc, your genes also apply to your sexual preferences... ''Being gay isn't a choice, you are born that way''.

What about that?

Me- I see. You're saying, we are born homosexual- Attracted to whatever sex we are, rather than born attracted to males or females. Hmm. I'd have to think about that. It's difficult to hold a debate on something like this when I myself am not sure.

You know, I could debate either side with just as much ease (or difficulty).
If I were to go with what I said earlier, in a sense it's just as strong of an argument as saying we are born gay...... because it still leaves the declaration that we DON'T choose who we are attracted towards. It still leaves it with genetics and not choice.


Like playing the lottery.

You will be born with:

a. brown eyes
b. green eyes
c. etc

Attracted to:

a. woman
b. men
c. both, etc

You will have:

a. ovaries
b. a wee-wee, etc

And so on and so forth.
The combination = "enter title here"




Perhaps you have the gene that makes you attracted to woman.
Also, you have the gene that makes you born with ovaries.
These two genes together (the combination) = "lesbian"

The assumption that there is one single gene that determines your sexuality can be (might not be though) seen as ludicrous.
There could be two separate genes that, when combined, EQUAL homosexuality, rather than there being just one single "gay gene".



Either way, the conclusion is we do not choose our sexuality. We are born with the genes and traits that, when mixed, determine your unique sexuality- all based on the combination.

But you know, just as a side note, let me express my thoughts in a less "deep and philosophical" way…


Sometimes I wonder. Was I born lesbian? How do I know? I don't know, I mean, I know I love woman. I love them, I am in love with them, I am comfortable and safe and I dream of them. My attraction is all around and back again. I used to have crushes on guys when I was much younger, but really they weren't much of anything, it was to fit in and join in the conversations of "omg he is soooo hot omg omg". I was an outcast during these crucial times during a young girl's life when our lives seemingly revolved around continuous puppy love. The goofy, childish little girl talks. Girls always swooning over celebrities. I was never like that with men/boys. But I went along with it, I grasped my teensy tiny little bit of attraction toward boys and tried to go with it.


Anyway, I don't really know what I'm getting at. But I can't really tell you straight up that I was born gay. It is a choice, it is my choice to be with woman, to love woman. Or is the choice just that I've decided to LET myself love woman? Is it in my nature?


It kind of ties in to the argument of fate vs. free will. You think you are choosing what to do with your life, your next step. Will you run or will you wait? Will you try the drugs or will you stay away? Will you trip and fall or hold you're ground? You can stand there, thinking, you are going to choose a different route than what feels to be the route you are "supposed" to take. But it could just be in your fate to think those exact same thoughts. It's a loop you can just keep following over and over and over again until. Well, until you just pass out of exhaustion and irritation. Until there is a scientific way to provide an answer, how the hell can we know? Really, we can never know for certain. Or at least be comfortable and able to accept the answer we find. Will we even be able to let ourselves accept the answer we find?



(This isn't necessarily my opinion, it's just a possibility...)




A thought- If we are talking genetics, then the issue is of the "gay-gene" being a recessive trait because obviously homosexuals are a minority.

Happiness is not going to Graeter's only to find that they're out of the blueberry pie ice cream you wanted.

Happiness is almost a double scoop sugar cone with coconut chip and toffee chip.

I'm posting this in attempt to distract myself from the constant arguing going on with my girlfriend. Right now we aren't "talking". I'm "waiting" for her to call me. It's pretty damn childish on both of our parts, I'll admit. I don't know what my problem is, but it seems I'm always looking for an argument- over ANYTHING. I'm guessing there has to be many other girls like me out there, eh?

So. I'm posting here hoping to get replies, conversations going, etc. I have a feeling that won't really happy successfully.

I'm bored out of my skull.

Can't wait to move into my apartment at school on the first. Last year for me! All psychology courses and a digital photography course as well. Stilllll waiting to see if I'm accepted into the "dyke_riot" group.

Side question to anyone willing to answer- I've been wondering lately, is it common for lesbians to be interested/turned on by straight porn? I know many who watch it, and was wondering what other girls takes are on the topic.




P.S. I know I'm pretty random.

Swimming? was fabulous. utterly fabulous. energising, relaxing, empowering, soothing. all its best qualities!

it helped that I was the only one in the pool, for my entire half hour. no surprise mancrotches to the face, not even anyone in my lane. or even the other lanes! I think I have a performance anxiety issue with other people in the pool. cause obviously we aren't competing, but in my head the comparisons are hard to stop - especially when the swim team kids are there. they make me feel ashamed, especially on bad days...

but! the water was welcoming, no one was around, it felt great.
I went a half hour before I started hurting things and breath-panicking. I'm definitely much better at arms-only pulls than any other option. I wonder why. but with an empty pool and no expectations for myself, they went really really well for a good while. though I'm still really dizzy when I get out of the pool, even if I use the ladder and go slow instead of just hauling myself out.

anyway. my shoulders are hurting now, but my feet and my back felt much better after a swim. I could walk in a straight line! yay! that started to wear off after an hour or so, but I'll take what I can get, y'know? took me so long to get back cause I ran into a friend at the bus stop and we stopped to chat. <3 then I went downtown for soymilk and sugar, and got myself a peach and a couple pb-covered pretzels for a healthysnack. and now I can have veggies for dinner too, and couscous, and then house on dvd! yay! oh man, I am so glad my excursion went well. i needed that.

Okay, this just makes me sad. http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/08/27/lesbian.activist.dies/index.html

Del Martin, a gay rights activist for over half a century and one-half of the first gay couple to wed in San Francisco this past June, has died at the age of 87. Her wife and partner of 55 years was at her side. NCLR obituary [PDF]

We owe her so much, and I am unutterably glad she got to be married to the love of her life before she passed.

Have hacked out draft of major. Will edit (more) after I get home from gym. Am going to go downtown now to deposit check (YES) and then bully myself into swimming. hmm, should eat first.

Anyway, expect another draft post coming soon. I am heartened by my conversation with my advisor Monday, in which I actually got helpful feedback, and he told me not to worry, it's going to be accepted, that's why we're working so hard now. So I don't have to worry. he said so!

(if i give up on capitalisation altogether it's because my left shift key is being temperamental and it's my shift key of choice. grumpyface.)

my back is eleventy kinds of fucked, by co-conspiracy of my shoulders and my hips. I'm actually kind of scared to go swim. i don't know how it'll go, at all. it'll either be great - yay buoyancy - or it'll hurt like hell.

[eta OW OJESUS i just tried to go down a few steps to get something off the basement stairway shelves. why hello, knees! how nice of you to make yourselves known. ok, not holding any expectations about swimming.]

No, you can't have more than three ponies.

Not Yours

[via jwz]

( Hot, crazy night, different camera setting. )

i would like to present you with my new rat Adolfo Pachouli i got her today:]]]

Many of you already know that Tony and I, along with a lot of other artist and musician friends, are working to help Alec and Kore to save their home.

In addition to our sale, which is still going on, there's a new auction on the scene!

Many of you are already familiar with the incredibly beautiful pendants made by chimera_fancies (and if you're not, you should check them out, they're breathtaking!) We've joined forces with Mia to offer a special pendant/CD set: A thirteen-themed pendant and a copy of Thirteen signed by both me and Tony.

Click to go to the auction post and bid! Shipping is FREE and all proceeds are going to Fae Hollow. Bidding will end on Wednesday September 3rd at noon Pacific time.



Please note: you bid by commenting on the chimera_fancies post-- NOT by commenting on this post.

Thank you!

I'm going to Paradise Unbound starting Thursday (that's, um, tomorrow), and I've been completely slack on making updates here, which means I haven't sought networking on who else might be going. With, y'know, a vehicle that might get me out there on Thursday.

Problem-solving appreciated.

Also, I feel really stupid that the only way I know how to network for rides is flailing around on my LJ. I'm not really part of "the kink community" these days, I just kind of go to cons now and then. Which is when I realize I feel like I don't know anyone and get all depressed and flaily.

So. Advice on
(a) getting a ride or making other transportation arrangements in this instance,
(b) feeling more in-control about networking, or
(c) feeling more in-control about communicating with the outside world in general
would be appreciated.

In lighter news, my hair now looks approximately like my LJ icon. I haven't been taking nearly enough pictures, but there's plenty of color in the bottle, so I can just keep dying it brighter again until I am sufficiently documented.

Edit: Other lighter news - relationships are going well, and after a good two months of editing block, I survived critique group Monday night and have clearer ideas about what I need to change again.

Quick note that Chimera Fancies is auctioning off a set of a special pendant and a signed copy of Thirteen to benefit Fae Hollow:

If you know of any queer friendly festivals, please comment the name and/or website!

I'm going to try to attend as many as possible in the next year, so if anyone plans on going to any, lets meet up!

i originally posted this in other communities, but no responses! help me out!

A smaller chest.
Please?
I know I complain often but 34 DD with this soul?
Come on. Cruel biological joke.
<3
Ty

Aaaaand we're back. Huzzah! Good to get back on the bike. I missed updating for y'all.

And I have to say: firelight on an older face is a very satisfying effect to render.

( Behind here ... )

http://wednesdaynight.org/diary/2008/8/26

Think about it: after September 11th, if there was a call from the president to get us off foreign oil to stop funding the very terrorists who had just attacked us, every American would have said, "how can I do my part?" This administration failed to believe in what we can achieve as a nation, when all of us work together.

i guess one thing that has disappointed me about this year's radiohead tours is that for how much they played stuff off the first in rainbows disc, they've really neglected the second. down is the new up, last flowers, up on the ladder, 4 minute warning... when the acoustic guitar comes in in go slowly, and it feels like some pink floyd song, these would have been great on the road. oh well.

they did play bangers + mash, but i don't really like that one.

It's too much; too bright, too powerful: too much.

i finally got mah hairs cut

( cut for random hair pic )
x-posted

( all back here. )