badger cannon

Hee! No, it was an automatic self-opening coconut. Though it wasn't meant to be.

My mother gave me this coconut for some reason -- I forget why -- that had a special groove along its equator to make it easier to open. I think perhaps this groove was not a good idea, and I don't believe I've seen any like that since.

I was out in the garden one day when I heard a WHOP! from inside the house. Went into the kitchen to find an unholy smell. The coconut had gone rancid, and the pressure blasted the shell open along the EZ-Open fault line. I'm glad I wasn't in the kitchen at the time, because I'm pretty sure that "killed in a freak coconut accident" is just the kind of way I'm likely to go. Anyway, it was hideous. Rancid sticky coconut juice everywhere, splashed almost eight feet up on the walls.

I haven't bought a coconut since. Dangerous things, coconuts.